A few years ago I was told by the other individual who lives in this house that I was the noisiest person he had ever come across.  I had never known that.  I had always thought I was one of those quiet little mouse people and here I was the noisiest person ever!!!  It stops you in your tracks when people tell you things like that about yourself.  Have I gone through life with people hating me because I’m so noisy?  I know we used to discuss at work how we see ourselves and how others see us and we used to always tell each other that they should do the course on this particular subject.  Perhaps it isn’t too late to do the course now!

I notice that my children are loud.  Did they get it from me and not their father after all?  All the good attributes your children have come from our side of the family and the bad ones from the other side.   My daughter has the loudest sneeze I have ever heard.  How the neighbours put up with her when she has hay fever I have never known.  Luckily she seems to have grown out of it, probably to the relief of the neighbours.  My son is loud and noisy.  His children are loud and noisy.  I am aware of that so you would think that I am quiet, otherwise I wouldn’t notice.

Earlier this year the sister of this quiet person in our house and her husband were visiting us for a few days.  Now, Sean gets up early in the mornings and so do I so it was natural that we would have our early morning coffee together and discuss the  problems of the world.  Morning coffee doesn’t usually elicit great ideas for putting the world to rights as does evening wine and this particular morning  was no different but, probably after I had dropped a teaspoon on the tiles of the kitchen, the talk moved to the two quiet people we each lived with.  They are so quiet it makes us look noisy.  We both agreed on that.  We traversed the cause of noisiness, how spring loaded cupboard doors in the kitchen will slip out of your hand early in the morning and bang shut, how things get dropped on the tiles and sometimes even break and all the while these quiet people are trying to sleep.

Sean came up with the best one though, when one time he had woken up early as usual, quietly slipped out of bed so as not to waken the sleeping one, grabbed his shorts off the chair and was sneaking out of the room, shorts in hand, when all the change fell out of a pocket  onto the timber floor.  We had a good laugh over that one.  Can’t you imagine it?

Well, I have topped his story. Just a couple of days ago, it was only just light so I slipped quietly from bed and reached round the corner to grab my dressing gown from the hook where it always hangs.  The corner is part of the doorway leading into the walk-in robe and is a good out-of-the-way spot for a couple of dressing gowns and underneath them is a niche into which there snugly sits a three-step metal ladder for vertically challenged people to reach high places.  For some reason the ladder either had not been put back correctly or the gown was slightly caught on it.  Who knows?  Suddenly the ladder clattered onto the opposite wall with a noise you wouldn’t believe.  

I stood there, frozen for the moment (it was cold as well).  The mound in the bed wasn’t moving but I knew it was alive and awake (don’t know if it was intelligent life but it was awake).  I could feel tentacles of malevolence reaching out trying to grab me by the thrioat. but, doddging that, I quietly and quickly tippy-toed around the end of the bed, heading for the door, expecting any moment for a laser gun to appear which would blast me into a far away universe, not even a parallel one, not that close!!!  I managed to make my escape.  Perhaps I’ve been watching too much Dr Who!!!  (On that note I like Peter Capaldi although I did like him  better as Malcolm in In The Thick of It).

I think that tops Sean’s story.  He will get a giggle out o this one.